Hair, Part Three
Yes, I do realize there was never a Hair, Part Two, even though I promised one (a long, long time ago). So I have to leave room for that in case I ever get around to doing it someday. But I probably won’t. There is something I really love about unfulfilled promises. Not broken, just unfulfilled. I kind of enjoy people getting mad at me for them. It’s the constant bringing up of the promises I made that you and I both know I will never follow through on (but there’s always the possibility) that keeps the attention on me. I like that kind of attention.
But back to Hair, Part Three.
What is it that makes people think that the following statements are okay on days that I straighten my hair?
- Gasp! “What happened to your beautiful curls?” (while running their fingers through my hair, uninvited)
- “Boy, if I had curly hair, I just don’t think I would ever straighten it.”
- “Why is it that people always want what they don’t have? I have straight hair and I wish it was curly and you have curls and you wish it was straight.”
Translation (in my mind) to all three of those statements: “You are ugly, your mom is ugly, your mom’s hair is ugly, the music that you listen to is stupid and you’re an idiot.”
There is no good way to respond to these people. None. They are not giving a compliment, so I can’t just say “thank you.” They are making accusations (most of which are untrue) that instantly put me on the defensive. And I hate when I get defensive. I feel like a big ole lamebrain sitting there explaining to people that I like to be able to switch back and forth, all I did was blow it dry today and the curls will be back next time I wash it, straightening is fun sometimes because it will last three days (which means I don’t have to fix my hair for two days), blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And that’s my rant for this Monday.
Give me some attention, please.
ATTENTION!!!! Saying it like it is!!! I love it!!!
THANKS ROCKY!!!!
And by the way, don’t take this post as me saying that I don’t like people running their fingers through my hair, uninvited. I mostly always like it. I mostly like to be touched. Uninvited or otherwise. I just don’t like being touched while I’m being insulted. It makes me want to react by touching back.
With a punch to the face.
Toooooo funny! I like the “your mom’s hair is ugly” the best. I like to be in your posts,even if it’s just my hair. Thanks!
Ahh, unfulfilled promises. I like those too. I remember giving you constant attention for Hair, Part One. And, oh the joy, upon fulfillment
.
I love the mental images you create when you write. My favorite today is “with a punch to the face.”
I love your hair every single way you fix it. And I would just say Blah, blah, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! to those people and walk away. Maybe after a punch depending on the severity of the comment. They don’t deserve a real response.
Wasn’t it you who once told someone (or at least thought about telling someone) to go blow it out their blow hole? Maybe you should try that one again.
Amen and amen! I fixed my hair straight for a camping trip this summer (because, you’re right, it will last three days) and this person who I see occasionally proceeded to tell me that she liked my hair better curly. And then every time I see her, she says “See, I like your hair so much when it’s curly.” I could go on, but I know you understand exactly what I would tell you about how I feel about that.
Crystal, you mean I fulfilled an unfulfilled promise once? Maybe I’m good for something after all. I need to step up my game.
Carlee, yes. You are right. I said that once. And it’s been repeated a lot since that fateful day. The lesson here is be careful what you say once. That’s why I don’t know what to say to these people. Once I told a boy I wouldn’t go out with him because I found him physically repulsive and morally repugnant. I thought it would be funny, but it wasn’t. I really regretted saying it.
Me and my mama like lots of attention. Keep it coming.
Carrie! Ugh. Arrgghhhh and Blech. Maybe you should tell her you liked her better when she was skinny.
For real, what do you say?
I like you Leslie.
Remember when you once told me that anyone could make their hair curly, I am still working on that one:) You sure are lucky that you can wear it both curly and straight and you look good both ways!
I sure like you too, Kirsty, but I’m not finding you very helpful here. I put out a plea to the internet for an answer and I get nothing. I thought the internet was supposed to make us smarter. You people are worthless.
Caity, I still think you’re just afraid to get in touch with your curly side. Don’t worry, kid. There’s still time.
Caity I can’t make my hair curly either. At least not without a curling iron!
Leslie, I just want you to find your own answers. It is good for you punkin.
Hmm, I should like to see a picture of you on a straitened-hair-day. I bet it looks lovely, and I would be sure to give you affirming attention:) Congratulations to you guys today, as well. How very exciting!
Okay Mandi, you got it. Picture coming up next! (I don’t for a second believe myself right now.)
Kirsty, you always do have my best interests at heart. Where would I be without you? Thank you.
I’m catching up here. And I just went through the archives looking for parts 1 and 2 with photo posts before I gave up.
You didn’t mention the other side, part 4: when you straighten your hair and people say how great your hair looks. Then it’s like they were lying every time they said they liked your crazy curls. And you knew it.