Lesson For One

One would think that after a certain number of years of curling one’s hair with a curling iron, one would learn how to curl one’s bangs without burning one’s forehead, wouldn’t one? But one would be wrong. Because a certain someone that I know burns one’s forehead at least once a week. I wonder why one is unable to remember from week to week that when curling the bang area, one must keep hot iron at a safe distance from skin? Skin is not meant to be curled. Skin burns and then peels.

One would also think that when driving one’s children to school every single day, that one would not drive over the same curb every single time when one turns a certain corner. I know this one person who does this. Beware, in case one thinks driving over curbs is fun. One’s husband might not find such humor in it when replacing one’s tires on a yearly basis.

20 thoughts on “Lesson For One”

  1. i’m about to write a post, including multiple sentences on my inability to not burn myself. i have a ridiculous number of open wounds on my body right now that should only happen to a two-year old.

    i love these things about you, and appreciate you more for your burns. you’re hot. (ha. get it?)

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  2. ha ha. speaking of CPS, i know of one’s child who bumped his head so hard it made a blue bump pop out. then that child fell on a dvd player edge and hit it in the exact same spot so there was a red line running from the blue bump down one eye and over the nose. then, that child’s mother scratched his lip while putting him in the carseat and fulfilled the damage to his face in such a way that it looked as though he were a beaten child. one must not go out in public in such cases in case people try to call CPS on one.
    thankyouverymuch

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  3. Well, Lauren, I suppose in certain cases I would not advise calling CPS on one’s child. In certain cases I would say that the best course of action is to bring said child to Leslie’s house ASAP so that she can give him lots of love and kisses. She promises not to curl his hair.

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  4. Leslie, it’s the 2000’s…don’t curl your hair anymore. Just use a round brush and a blowdryer. 😀 At least you don’t tease it up a mile high anymore. LOL

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  5. I seem to remember a certain high school picture where your hair didn’t actually fit in the photo it was so big. But to make you feel better, when I got back from vacation I drove the kids to school and parked like usual. As I was pulling out, I decided to take a short cut and just pul forward. Unfortunately, I forgot that there were the cement bar thingies that divide the parking spaces and I just scraped right over it with another mom watching, mouth agape. Needless to say, I’m a litte rough on my vehicles. Curbs don’t slow me down much either…

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  6. I actually used to turn my head over right before getting in the car to go to youth group and use my fingers to back comb my hair until it was at least the size of three heads. Then, when I got in the car, I would TAKE OFF THE BACK HEAD REST on my seat so that there was room for my hair and so that nothing would touch it to (heaven forbid) flatten it at all. Those were the days.

    Cement bar thingies…..they’ll get you every time.

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  7. A c.b.t. got me on my bike once. Every other one was painted bright yellow, the others were left the same cement color of the pavement. Was that some kind of trick I wonder? I flipped over my handlebars and didn’t roll. That was last summer. I have no point to this story, just the facts.

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  8. There should be a rule about those c.b.t.’s being painted yellow! I trip over the cement colored ones on the way into the university every few days or so. Although, I’ve found that if you cuss ’em out real good, they learn their lesson.

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  9. Wikipedia: “The North American term bangs, which is often used in reference to a young lady’s hairstyle, almost certainly originated with the practice of cutting horses’ tails straight across, a style known to this day as a “bang-tail.”

    I hope that clears it up CAPS.

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  10. I hate that they’re called that. When you go to really cool salons, they call them “fringe” instead. “Do you want to leave the fringe?” they say. The first time I was asked that, I had no idea what they were talking about. So I did what I always do when I have no idea what someone is talking about…I nodded. It works every time. Either that, or turn and slowly walk away. But when you’re sitting in a salon chair with a black apron around your neck and someone standing over you with sharp scissors in their hands, it’s safer to just nod.

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  11. This explains why fringe is called bangs.

    Also this explains why so often when I am speaking you slowly turn and walk away.

    What you might not know you do, is also kind of an odd little smile.

    Next time i’ll bring scissors.

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  12. I do that smile thing every time. Ok, I do the nod as well. But since we aren’t talking face to face, you wouldn’t know that about me.

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  13. They are only called fringe here. I made the mistake of saying bangs to my friend and she thought I was crazy.

    When I don’t know what someone is talking about, I have a novel way of responding: I just ask them what it means! I know, I am very strange, but it seems to work for me.

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  14. Yes I nod at my computer quite often. Sometimes when I’m reading a certain blog (ahem When you look at the World…) I just grab my head with both hands and try to make the spinning stop.

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